#they're so pretty i wonder if they know how pretty they are

[sunnywalnut]

I also would like to add as someone who takes medication- ask other people if it seems like your meds are working.

Especially if you take antipsychotics/stimulant drugs.

A lot of meds do have side effects that can be pretty mean. Or not work at all. But they also could just be working so good that you don't notice because you're so used to struggling that getting used to a new normal is ALSO a struggle.

"but why would you stop taking meds if they're working?" We're human. If something worked, and has worked for a while, we don't think "oh goodness I should keep doing this even though there's no increase of Good just to make sure the Bad doesn't come back!"

We think "damn this thing really isn't working the same as it once did. Idk if it works anymore. Maybe I should stop"

And to that I tell you WAIT!!

Talk to your roommates, your friends, your family. Ask them if they remember how you were struggling before your medication. Ask them if it seems like you're struggling still or what symptoms might look like they're starting to show up again.

"but how would they know what goes on in my brain?" Ohoho my friend that's the wonderful part! Mental health HAS PHYSICAL SIGNS!!

Forgetfulness can show up as losing your keys or phone even though they're in the same chair beside you.

Clustered brainspace/"confused thoughts"/brain static can look like struggling to do house chores or having to tear things apart in order to sort through them correctly or even changing tasks seven different times even though they don't make sense to anyone including you.

Depression or problems with executive function can look like not being able to take a shower even when you sit still for half an hour obsessing and feeling guilty about it.

And of course this is only three examples. There's so much more that could happen and show up in different ways(which I absolutely encourage people to add on their own) but please. Before you decide to go off your meds, go through the process of figuring out if they ACTUALLY don't work

Lest you turn out like me, three years of no meds on a steady decline.

Thank you.

Local PSA: invisible disability does NOT mean you can live your life like a "normal person" invisible disability meant that if a stranger looks at you in public they wouldn't know what's going on.

Like if a wheelchair user were to decide to run into a corner store to grab a candy bar because they know that their legs can last that long without, the cashier wouldn't know.

Or someone with "mild" scoliosis walking upright through their shoulder leans slightly to the left. Maybe they just have bad posture. The lady in the next isle thinks to herself.

The person with EDS or POTS or whatever sort of condition wearing compression gloves out and about. Perhaps it's a fashion statement?

Or what about the people with intestinal issues? They can look like "normal people" too.

You never know what someone is going through.

You never know what they might need to survive or if they're on the edge of a flare up or even if they are currently going through one just by one look.

I think both disabled and non disabled need to realize this. You're not "no longer disabled" because you can "live without" disability aids. They're there to help you. To make your life easier. If living without a cane is going to make it more likely you'll fall over and hurt yourself, use the cane.

If you need to sit down to do dishes or cut vegetables because you need to save your legs for taking out the trash, sit down.

If you need a shower chair because you don't know if you'll pass out, use the shower chair.

People are going to judge you regardless for multiple reasons out of your control.

I'd rather they judge you while you're being safe.

You don't need to struggle to be "normal."

You can just be you.

However that looks for you.

Use your disability aids.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Trey Clover - Room Relaxation Voice Lines

I don't need anything special just because it's my birthday. I'll be happy just spending it peacefully as ever.

Summon: Living in a dorm is always lively and enjoyable, but that's what makes my alone time even more precious. I wonder what I should do tonight?

Groovification: Today's my birthday... So just let me sleep in a bit more.

Home: Guess I'll head to sleep.

Swap Looks: Can't forget to brush your teeth before sleeping and after waking up.

Home Transition 1: Whew... Oh, oops, I zoned out there for a bit. Time flies when you're not paying attention, huh. Guess I'll brew some coffee.

Home Transition 2: It's always good to have a light top layer handy. It's pretty useful to quickly throw on whenever I need to stay up a little late.

Home Transition 3: Jamil's present was a hot eye mask. I really like how soothing it is. He really gave me something nice.

Home Transition - Login: It might be fun to make my own birthday cake, sure... But there'll be so many sweets at the party that it could be too much to try to eat.

Home Transition - Groovy: I was shocked when Silver gave away that Riddle was planning a surprise for me. The fact that he didn't even seem to have revealed it with ill will is a problem in and of itself...

Home Tap 1: I'm starting to feel a little peckish... No, I shouldn't. I definitely don't want to doze off and wake up without having brushed my teeth, so.

Home Tap 2: I got a notif of a new video. Oh, they're making a boat out of chocolate, huh. This pâtissier sure is something, as always.

Home Tap 3: I received some oil from Ortho, and I'll admit, I did tense up a bit... But when I checked, I was relieved to see it was just olive oil for cooking.

Home Tap 4: I wasn't expecting Sebek to wish me a happy birthday. His tone was arrogant, as always, but maybe he's actually a conscientious guy...?

Home Tap 5: I seem different from usual? I don't think I'm doing anything different... Ah, maybe it's because I'm not wearing my glasses?

Home Tap - Groovy: How do I spend time when I'm in my room? I don't really do anything too special... Although honestly, I'm actually not a morning person, so I just try not to stay up too late.

Duo: [TREY]: Thanks for the earnest well wishes, Silver. [SILVER]: I wish you the very best, Trey-senpai.

Birthday Login Message: You're here for my birthday, huh? And this present... Oh, it's honey! Thanks! It's useful and honestly, easy to comprehend. What I mean is, we had a Science Club meeting today, and... Well, while the club members were wishing me a happy birthday, Rook gave me something. Look at this. According to Rook, it's a "wondrously beautiful clover," but... Is there any difference from a regular clover? I don't really get it... What about you? If you can figure out the difference, let me know on the down low.

Requested by @farfalla49 and @sakurakudo.

[perotovar]

my favorite things i've made 2024

tagged by @jolapeno @almostfoxglove @morallyinept @schnarfer @iamasaddie

@kedsandtubesocks @chronically-ghosted @moonlitbirdie and @arcanefox207 ♥

alright, y'all, i can't believe this year is ending soon 🥹 as we all know, this year has had a lot of ups and downs, but i can't help but feel like pedro did when he got his sag award, y'know??

i'm so grateful for all of you, and i can't wait to see what the new year brings. new p boys, new premieres/press tours?? sounds like heaven to me ♥

now, i've been tagged to toot my own horn a little bit and i guess i can, fine :P i don't normally like to, but i've been tagged by some wonderful, lovely friends to do so

below, will be both fics and gifs i've made this year that i'm pretty proud of!

before anything, i just wanna say, i'm super fucking proud of my Offering of Frith writing challenge. y'all did such an amazing job on every single one of the fics. i worked super hard on that and it was SO fun. i'd love to do another challenge in 2025, so i may do some brainstorming ✏️👀

fics:

bloody kisses -> alright, i'm gonna be real with y'all. this is my favorite thing i've ever written. okay, maybe not ever, but it's definitely tied with itbotn. i really love how quickly and easily this universe came together for me, and the little cult following that it has makes me so happy. they've almost got a little life of their own. i really, really wanna get back to them. i've got an idea that i'd love to get down, and now that a lot of the pressures of school are a little lessened, i might make it happen soon!

into the beat of the night ch 7 - "in my side" -> this chapter didn't get as much attention as the rest of the series, and that's okay, but i'm still proud of it for stepping out of my comfort zone. it was an area i was afraid would be a little taboo (since it covers deadnaming, misgendering, and past abusive relationships) so it's a little more serious than the series tends to be. i like what it means for river and frankie's relationship and it cements how they feel about each other, y'know?

into the beat of the night ch 8 - "deeper and deeper" -> and now for something completely different lol i like this chapter because it could've only happened after the experience with river's ex. they're completely comfortable with each other now and this was the last of frankie's walls coming down. i love them ♥

gifs:

the pedro pascal fandom moodboard that i made for the friendship exchange cat and han hosted ♥ i love how that turned out because it's the exact experience i have in this fandom lol

gideon @sp00kymulderr 's birthday present ♥ i adore our little disaster bi raccoon man and i love making these silly sets like this. i also love gideon so i'm glad they were the recipient for this!

silly pedro during the gladiator 2 press ♥ again, i love making these goofier sets. they're super fun to make and the end result is always really rewarding. and maybe i just like making myself laugh LMAO

i love you guys and i hope the new year treats you all well ♥

np tags: @for-a-longlongtime @schnarfer @iero @userparamore @djo

@miwtual @tomshiddles @gasolinerainbowpuddles @mrsmando @ghostofaboy

@missredherring @cavillscurls @beardedjoel @beefrobeefcal @quinnnfabrgay

@hellishjoel @max--phillips @oonajaeadira @wethairjoel @pedgito and literally anyone that wants to/sees this! i'm sorry if you already have done this or i missed you, it wasn't on purpose 🥲

[memorabxlia]

Silent Cry ━ 여상

genre: hurt/comfort summary: will you be saved in enough time? warnings: attempted suicide, mental health topics, harassment, bullying, insecurity, mentions depression pairing: idol!yeosang x fem!reader wc: 1.3k a/n: this fic is not for the faint-hearted. If any of the topics above are triggering for you, I highly recommend not reading this. However, if you choose to proceed, you are reading at your own risk. nets: @blossomnet @k-labels @k-films

"You know, the others can't stop talking about you." Yeosang's voice is soft, tender, the way it always is when the two of you are alone. You're curled up next to him on the couch in your shared home, his arm draped over your shoulders as you rest your head on his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat is calming, like a lullaby.

You smile at his words, though the weight on your chest doesn't lift. The members—Wooyoung, San, Seonghwa, Mingi, all of them—have been nothing but kind to you since you started dating Yeosang. They treat you like family, as if you've been part of their lives for years. But no matter how much they adore you, how many times they assure you that you're loved and welcome, it doesn't change the fact that a different kind of attention lingers on the edges of your happiness.

The fans.

You scroll through the comments more often than you should. It's hard not to. Every post, every picture of you with Yeosang, is flooded with messages. Some supportive, but too many are venomous.

_"You don't deserve him."_

_"He could do better."_

_"She's not even that pretty. He should be with someone skinnier."_

The words sting, no matter how many times you tell yourself they don't. And it's not just the comments. They've started leaking into your private messages, too. Fans telling you to end it, to let Yeosang go so he can be with someone they think is worthy of him. Sometimes, they even threaten you. Not directly, but in the veiled way that makes your skin crawl.

You haven't told Yeosang about it. You don't want to burden him. He's already got so much on his plate with the group, the fans, the media. You don't want to add to that.

But it's getting harder to ignore.

"Hey," Yeosang's voice pulls you from your thoughts. "Are you okay? You've been really quiet."

You tilt your head up to look at him, his dark eyes full of concern. You hate that look. It makes you feel like you're worrying him, like you're dragging him down into your mess. You force a smile.

"I'm fine," you lie, and he doesn't seem convinced.

"Are you sure?" he presses, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know," you mumble, sitting up a little. You look down at your phone, your fingers itching to open the messages you've been ignoring all day. You don't, though. Not while he's watching. "I'm just tired."

He watches you for a moment longer, clearly not buying your excuse, but he doesn't push. Instead, he shifts, wrapping his arms around you again and pulling you closer.

"If you're tired, let's go to bed," he suggests softly, his breath warm against your skin. "We can talk tomorrow."

You nod, even though you know you won't sleep. Your mind will race all night, replaying every hurtful comment, every cruel message, until you feel like you're suffocating.

The next day is worse. You wake up to more messages, more hateful words. You can't escape it. No matter how much you try to stay off social media, it's like the negativity follows you. You start to wonder if they're right. Maybe Yeosang would be better off without you. Maybe he deserves someone prettier, skinnier, someone who fits the image the fans have in their heads.

You try to brush it off, but by midday, it's too much. You can't keep pretending everything's fine.

So you send Yeosang a text.

*I love you. I just want to say thank you for everything. For all the love you've shown me.*

You stare at the message for a long time before hitting send. You don't know what you expect him to say, but it doesn't matter. You just need to tell him. You need him to know how much you appreciate him, even if things fall apart.

When Yeosang reads the message, it immediately sets off alarms in his head. He knows you. He knows when something isn't right, and this—this message feels like a goodbye. He doesn't bother replying. Instead, he rushes out of the practice room, ignoring the confused looks from the other members, and drives as fast as he can to your shared home.

You're standing on the edge of the balcony when he bursts through the door, your hands gripping the railing so tightly your knuckles turn white.

"Don't," you say, your voice shaking as you hear him approach. "Don't come any closer."

Yeosang freezes, his heart pounding in his chest. He's never seen you like this—so broken, so fragile. He doesn't know what to do, but he knows he can't lose you.

"Please," he whispers, his voice cracking as he takes a cautious step forward. "Just come down, okay? We can talk. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"You don't understand," you choke out, your vision blurred by tears. "I can't do this anymore. The fans—they hate me. They hate me, and I can't take it. I'm ruining everything for you."

Yeosang's eyes widen in horror. The fans? This is because of them?

"You're not ruining anything," he insists, his voice stronger now, desperate. "I love you. You, not them. Don't listen to them, please. Just... step down. We'll figure it out together, I swear."

You shake your head, the tears spilling over. "I can't..."

Yeosang tries to move closer, but he stumbles, tripping over his own feet in his haste. The sudden motion startles you, and before you realize what's happening, your foot slips, and you're tumbling over the edge.

But before the ground can meet you, strong arms catch you.

"Mingi!" Yeosang's voice is full of relief as he watches the taller member steady you in his arms. Mingi had followed Yeosang, concerned when he saw his friend's panic. He'd arrived just in time to catch you.

"You okay?" Mingi asks gently, his arms still around you as you tremble in his grasp.

You nod weakly, but you can't find the words to thank him. Your mind is still spinning, too overwhelmed by everything.

Yeosang rushes down to where you and Mingi are, his hands shaking as he reaches for you. "Thank you," he breathes, his voice cracking again as he takes you from Mingi's arms. "I'll—I'll thank you properly later, I promise."

Mingi just nods, giving you both a worried look before stepping back to give you space.

Yeosang holds you close as he leads you back inside your home, his arms wrapped tightly around you like he's afraid to let go. You sit down on the couch together, and for a long moment, neither of you say anything.

Finally, Yeosang speaks, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why?"

You can't look at him. You stare at your hands, your fingers trembling as you try to form the words. "It's... it's the fans," you mumble, your voice weak and broken. "They... they hate me. They keep saying I don't deserve you. That I'm not good enough, that I'm ruining everything for you."

Yeosang's heart shatters at your words. He pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "You're not ruining anything," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "I don't care what they say. You're the one I love. You're the one I want. No one else."

You try to respond, but the words catch in your throat, and all you can do is sob into his chest.

Yeosang holds you tighter, whispering soft reassurances, sweet nothings, until your breathing starts to slow, your sobs quieting.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice barely audible.

"Don't apologize," he murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry. I should've seen how much this was hurting you."

You shake your head, but he doesn't let you argue. He just holds you, whispering that everything will be okay, that you're not alone, that he'll always be there.

Eventually, the exhaustion takes over, and you fall asleep in his arms, your head resting against his chest. Yeosang stays awake a little longer, his fingers brushing gently through your hair as he holds you close, vowing to protect you from the world, from the fans, from everything that tries to hurt you.

Because to him, you're all that matters.

❥﹒ ateez taglist: @minkilicious

[mynameismysecret]

Scrolled down to see how long and did not expect pics. Said "Waaaawww" out loud btw (they're so pretty)

Ooh ok i knew about the lighting a candle each week i think from um. Well i did use to go to church when i was little. Like up to 13yo.

It's funny we actually had a Christmas festivity thing when i was in kindergarten and i played one of the candles. Yup. The second one, if you're curious.

The disney thing is so specific tho..??

And omg yeah some dads do that here too. I did witness it once (not my dad. We were guests) and i was big enough to know that's definitely not santa but i do wonder if the smaller kids were sold on it. I remember it wasn't the best costume.

Honestly i don't even know if we (Romania) have specific Christmas traditions that only happen here. We do have some New Years (/general holiday season) ones that are. Odd. Not in a bad way, just kinda weird. But fun. But weird :))

my only advice is to BE CAREFUL posting about holiday traditions around europeans. you'll post something casual like "anyone else watch the old Grinch movie every year? what a classic" and a european will appear as if summoned and say some shit like "funny how USAmericans always CONVENIENTLY forget that Not Everyone On Earth is from The USA…….. no of COURSE we dont watch 'the grunch' or whatever the fuck that is…. our tradition is to attend a community showing of Glummdorf the Racial Stereotype"

[thathomestar]

played through the black mesa blue shift mod, up through the xen chapter since that's all they've released so far. the mod aims to remake the entirety of blue shift in the style of black mesa, and boy howdy does it deliver on that, for better and for worse.

they actually establish a couple supporting characters, more security guards and scientists, which is nice. in the original game it was basically just dr rosenberg, so more named characters is a good change imo. feels like you're actually rallying people together to fight your way out of black mesa.

a weird thing this mod does is take away player control sometimes. i can understand it for specific sequences, like when the elevator crashes at the beginning or when you first teleport into xen, but it also does it for some mundane things too, like inserting a keycard into a switch. why? half-life's whole thing is letting the player be in control the whole time.

the first few chapters are well paced, but it starts feeling like its padding a bit when you go off to find dr rosenberg. you have to do this whole song and dance moving a train back and forth and turning it around properly on turntables to bust him out. they could have cut out some of the tedium there a little.

my problems really start when it comes to the xen chapter. the original blue shift xen chapter lasts for roughly 30-40 minutes for a first time player, though someone like me was able to speed through it in under 15. with the black mesa mod, they have stretched out the runtime of this chapter to 3 hours.

it starts off pretty strong, you're making your way through xen, taking in the sights and finding all the stuff the previous science teams have left behind. about 90 minutes in i was wondering when i'm gonna get to the focal point relay thing, the whole reason calhoun goes to xen in the first place.

but instead you keep detouring through black mesa outposts and alien factory things and it just gets so long in the tooth. it'd be one thing if you get to one of these places and you're there for 5-10 minutes at most, but you typically spend over 20, sometimes even 30 minutes at these places.

there's one bit where you inexplicably decide to jump on the back of one of the giant flying manta rays and it flies around for like 15 minutes like an autoscroller section until it gets shot down by alien railguns, and then you spend 30 minutes making your way over to and destroying the railguns. and the whole time i'm just like... when are we getting to the focal point thing.

so finally you get to the focal point relay and turn it on but it gets jammed by a signal so you spend another 40 minutes blazing through ANOTHER alien factory so you can blow it up and you make your way back to the focal point thing and the portal's open but alien controllers keep telekinetically grabbing you and yanking you away from it... and it's just so exhausting. i got burned out.

not to mention the weirdness with how they handle vortigaunts. so in black mesa they do this whole thing in xen to show that the vorts are slaves and don't actually want to fight you, but calhoun never encounters any of that stuff. for the first 2/3rds of xen in this mod, vortigaunts are constantly trying to kill you non-stop. then all of a sudden they don't attack you anymore. why? because i, the player know they're not really bad? why would calhoun know that? it doesn't really make sense to me.

xen is cool. i like xen. if you told me "we're adding more xen to blue shift" i'd be like alright that's cool. but 6-8 times more? that's way too much. xen in blue shift was never meant to be a long trip. calhoun was supposed to get in, find the focal point relay, align it, and leave, not go on a grand alien gallivanting adventure. that's for gordon to do.

[maxintime]

I wonder how many hydes are there in the world and how they're treated. Seeing how tyler was treated im guessing it'ssss not good :/ I wonder if there'll be other hydes in willowhill or if they are just extremely rare. I want tyler to meet another hyde maybe an older hyde so they could help him control his hyde and be his sort of mentor. Tho after seeing how hydes are banned in nevermore i doubt any of them will come out willingly due to how society views hydes and fear them

Im also wondering if hydes are the only outcasts who are destructive by nature- if so then thats a pretty sad fate. And i just cant wait to know the origins of hydes and how they came to be like i think its a very interesting plot point to delve into

[thebroccolination]

STOLAS AND BLITZ'S CURRENT RELATIONSHIP IS A TREASURE TROVE

Helluva Boss is the ideal source material for fanworks in so many ways. Especially because of where Blitz and Stolas's relationship is right now.

One of the show's more obvious issues is the pacing, and while I don't know a ton about animated productions, it's always seemed to me like they're creating an enormously ambitious production on a pretty limited budget, so they kind of have to power through these episodes at a hundred miles an hour without the luxury of going at the slower, more nuanced pace they deserve. But that's where fanfiction and fanart can really elevate what canon gives us, because the show is creating so much potential to explore, and we have time in between episodes to play!

Basically: I love it here and this episode was a buffet of goodness.

Following Mastermind, Stolas and Blitz are discovering that despite their physically intimate relationship and their feelings for each other, they don't actually know each other.

In Sinsmas, we see Stolas and Blitz discovering so many new things about each other, to the point where you wonder what they ever talked about until you remember: sex. When they reunited as adults, they never re-learned who each other is now. Instead, they jumped past personal intimacy to physical intimacy.

And now that they're working on their personal intimacy, I love that Blitz has flipped completely from acting cold to Stolas out of uncertainty and self-defense to committing to him, unrelentingly loyal and affectionate. The way he is with Loona.

So we have them learning each other in doses:

• Blitz's horse thing

• Stolas's secret medication

• What Stolas eats

• Social norms Stolas didn't have to know when he was part of the wealthy ruling class

• Hellborn culture

• Blitz's genuine love for the company he built, not just pride

• Just how different Blitz's way of life is from the one Stolas is accustomed to

• And the real Blitz as opposed to the idealized version Stolas invented in his fantasies

In Mastermind, Stolas has that line, "Why am I throwing my freedom away for this idiot?" in part because he was still mad at Blitz, but also because Blitz has been knocked off his pedestal, and Stolas has to relearn him from nothing.

But the thing is: this idiot loves Stolas.

He's not ashamed to eat with Stolas in public, not ashamed to protect him from the other Hellborn who hate Stolas because of the trial.

He's genuinely delighted spending his time with Stolas.

He'll hunt rats in an alley just to make sure Stolas is eating what he likes.

And he champions Stolas's very first secretarial attempt in very characteristically giddy flavor.

He risks his life to save Stolas's, a flip from Mastermind.

He wraps Stolas in his own jacket to keep him warm, even though Blitz just complained about Earth's winter topside.

And he wraps Stolas in a blanket, then eats hot coals/brimstone(/whatever those rocks were) to become a hot water bottle for Stolas.

Because ultimately, what Blitz wants and perhaps realizes he wants in this episode is that he wants to be a complete family with Stolas and their daughters.

And they'll get there in part by talking to each other about what matters.

Not fighting, not yelling, not walking away, just talking to each other. About their vulnerabilities and their fears and what hurts. About their past hurts and their worries for the future.

And they've never done that at length before.

The trial gave Blitz the wakeup call he needed, and now the season is ending with Blitz completing another curve of his character arc. Does he believe he deserves Stolas? No. Does he have the family he wants? Nope! But to get there he has to make things right with Stolas, and he's (mostly) done that.

What comes next for them in season three will be up to Stolas.

Blitz has embraced Stolas, but it's not quite reciprocal yet.

So I look forward to aaaaaaalllllllllI the fic and fanart along the way. :>

[fewsystemsinonebody]

Tbh we look covert if we don't move or speak up... Ok that sounds wrong but we usually wear neutral clothes and many of us don't have interests that extreme from one another but we have different voices and some move specific way (not everyone tho) so we can be spotted by some more observant people or those who know us well but if they don't then probably at least 50% of alters would be seen as a singlet. Also! We learned to do a trick with our voice because we can't fake each other's (won't share it here) and majority of us can pass as one person online because we type similarly when we try hard not to confuse people with our individuality (host or Albert never pass though). So strangers and people who hardly ever see us probably wouldn't notice shit. We sometimes front one alter to a certain person so they know only one of us and lots of human beings didn't even hear or saw changes despite of those being big af so I guess they didn't care enough?

*Srsly we have so many different voices and some ppl in hospital were like - I missed your voice - and we were like - which one - and they responded with - huh? - when those differences are EXTREME and they talked to us for a month that I wonder how dumb or uncaring ppl can be but oh well! At least we don't have to try so hard, right? :)

Red

We were much more extreme in the past, especially when we had girls in the system but rn we're all boys wanting to be masculine in various ways and just wear casual comfy shit that host owns as we spend a lot of time at home and don't care much about how we look but when we "go out" we would choose smth we like more. New alters are different in personality traits and emotions (or lack thereof) but they were brainmade to not have their own opinions much nor interests to not add conflicts to the brain so they're pretty neutral overall. So it's hard to tell if we would be truly overt looking if we weren't so open about our diagnosis (we tell basically everyone even if we later act like one person for the sake of someone's comfort). All I know we can never be 100% covert due to voice - whoops!~

I only ever see DID discussed as purely covert or overt, but never anything about systems with mixed presentation.

My system is maybe 90% covert, where most alters mask as the host. And then there are a few who have wildly different outward fashion choices, styles of speaking, and want people to know they’re someone other than the host.

It’s kind of chaotic when most alters are trying to stay on the down low and then Extremely Goth Alter shows up in Tripp pants and an oversized metal hoodie I didn’t even know we owned .-.

[whateverisbeautiful]

Do you think Rick ever attempted to tell Michonne how he felt about her? I wondered if he tried and got scared or someone interrupted them. How do you think Rick trying would have gone?

I really like this question too! I can absolutely see there being moments where Rick wanted to tell her how he feels and maybe even came close to before something stopped him. Since in TOWL he admitted he didn’t know what to do about being in love with her for a while there, I think those mints ended up being pretty important in helping him finally figure out how to let Michonne know how he feels about her.

This post actually feels like the perfect place to put my Part Two of what I think happened with Rick and Michonne during that time jump between No Way Out and The Next World because I address this question some more in my play-by-play. So this is Part Two - what I think happened in that time jump to make Rick and Michonne be like this the next time we see them in 6.10 ⬇️💗:

As always, my extra self has to start right from where they left off in No Way Out, which includes one of my favorite TWD episode endings when Rick speaks to Carl and then Carl ever-so-lightly takes his hand.

I’ve always loved the staging of that scene too with Michone holding Judith right outside the room. It’s such a visual confirmation of the family unit they are. And I can envision that when Rick notices that Carl took his hand he calls Michonne in to tell her about Carl’s movement and they're really happy and relieved and it’s a moment where it’s pretty hard to ignore how much the two of them feel like a mom and dad. 

So then I’d think that Carl probably has to stay at the infirmary for a certain amount of time for Denise to monitor him in the earliest stages of his recovery. And Rick and Michonne visit every single day to be with Carl and help look after him. I feel like the community probably agreed that after NWO, Rick needs a little break from leadership so that he can focus on tending to Carl. So during this time, others step up around the community while Rick and Michonne have a lot more time to tend to Carl and be at home with Judith. I think spending all that time together really tightens Rick and Michonne’s bond even more.

And one of the biggest things I’m convinced we were robbed of seeing during this time jump is the increase in Richonne’s physical touch. I think Rick and Michonne got a lot more comfortable with showing affection through touch during this time. Nothing blatantly romantic of course but like those little low fives or nudges on the couch. They start doing those types of touches a lot more often. Along with ramping up the flirtation and the little glances that suggest this dynamic isn’t nearly as platonic as they’ve tried to act like it is because there’s some real yearning and desire evident during this time.

I can picture that there’s one night where maybe Michonne puts Judith to bed while Rick is downstairs putting away dishes and then on the way to her room they both just end up sitting on the couch and staying up late talking - something they subconsciously might have been more hesitant to do when Carl was in the house prior considering the whole son’s best friend/best friend’s dad thing. But while Carl is still in the infirmary, they end up feeling a bit more comfortable to spend this time together at night. And those nighttime chats then become a staple part of their daily routine that Rick and Michonne both really look forward to.

Like it’s so a part of their routine that even when they’re tired after a long day, they go to the couch instead of going to bed because they want to make sure they still get that time to decompress together.

And I think their conversations just flow so easily and they operate so organically as best friends, while also knowing it’s getting harder and harder to act like all they are is best friends. Especially when Rick decides to officially remove his wedding ring during this time - something I imagine Michonne did notice.

I feel like Judith also starts really clinging to Michonne like a mom during this time. Like I always love it when the baby who plays Judith reaches for Michonne during that 6.10 scene on the porch and even sounds like she says Michonne’s name. I always like to think that Judith feels so bonded to Michonne by that point.

And maybe Rick and Michonne even like to make predictions on when they think Judith will start crawling as they often like to smile over watching her "practice" on the baby monitor during their nighttime chats.

I can picture that on one of those nights, Rick thanks Michonne for saving his and Carl’s life when Ron had that gun on him and notes how she’s saved his life quite a few times and he feels like he owes her. And she’d tell him that he doesn’t owe her and again the silence after is so clearly her “because I love you and you’ve given me a whole family” but she doesn’t say all that and Rick doesn’t profess his love yet either. They just let the nice moment be. 

So then there’s the portion of time when Carl can finally come home and Denise teaches Rick and Michonne what they’ll need to do with Carl home, like how to wrap his bandages and do physical therapy. With Carl home, I picture that Rick and Michonne get a good routine going of how to take care of him and help him during this time of adjusting to his new life with one eye. It's all just even more confirmation that the two of them parent and operate like a well-oiled machine.

Some days are smoother than others because I think Carl would understandably have some days where the recovery is frustrating for him. But Carl is a fighter too so overall he’s resilient and keeps a good spirit during recovery. And Rick and Michonne try to make things as smooth as possible for him and they’re able to lean on each other when it’s hard or emotional to see Carl struggling. They’re both just so grateful Carl is alive. 

I think the four of them would have family dinner together every night and Carl can even peep that the bonding Rick and Michonne have done lately is so clearly because they’re into each other. Like I just know that the look Carl gave Michonne the morning after she was with Rick has to do with Carl being like I knew I was picking up on the right vibes in this house all this time. 😂

In my mind, I imagine that Michonne is best at changing the bandages so she often is the one who does that for Carl in the mornings. I think one of those mornings she’s getting ready for the day and realizes she’s out of toothpaste. So, wearing her robe and towel, she initially is going to ask Carl to borrow his before bandaging him but then she sees Rick’s bedroom door is open so she just asks him.

And Rick does have some toothpaste left and gives it to her while trying very hard to just seem casual about her showing up in her robe the first time lol. But he’s definitely not mad at the sight he sees. 😋

And then soon it just becomes a thing for Michonne to borrow Rick’s toothpaste in the mornings during their family's little morning routine.

Rick and Michonne still of course want to contribute to the community so Rick starts going back out on those runs with Daryl and Michonne takes on some guard shifts at the gate. Once again, I think Daryl is observant that Rick has been real cheery lately and he knows that, on top of the good news of Carl surviving and the community proving they’re capable of surviving too, it’s whatever Rick has going with Michonne that plays a big part in why he’s smiling and snapping to music on their supply runs.

I also think on Rick and Daryl's supply runs, Rick would always somehow find ways to bring up Michonne in their conversations - because he’s a man in love. And Rick thinks he’s bringing Michonne up casually and subtly but it’s not either of those things to Daryl lol. But again, Daryl mostly keeps those observations to himself, even tho the thought "if this idiot doesn't make a damn move on her already" likely crossed his mind at minimum three times.

There was a time when I would have thought that maybe Rick never outright told Daryl that he had fallen for Michonne pre-canon. But honestly seeing the way Rick is a guy who can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, I wouldn't be surprised if maybe he did open up to Daryl more straightforwardly about how he's in love with his son's best friend and doesn't exactly know how to best proceed. And Daryl is a man of few words but I'd imagine that even the few words he'd offer up about the situation would be somehow helpful or reassuring to his brother.

And then, even with Carl home, Rick and Michonne definitely still continue to have their nighttime chats between just the two of them. Even tho now maybe sometimes Carl will come downstairs for water or a snack and be like 'you guys are still up talking?' 🤭

I do think there could have been one night where they were talking and laughing, and everything in Rick wanted to just tell Michonne how he feels and even lean in and kiss her. Because again, he’s aware during this time that he’s in love with her.

Like maybe there’s a moment where Michonne even asks about why he stopped wearing the ring, sorta like how she asked Carl why he stopped wearing the sherrif hat in season 4. And Rick is about to say something about how it didn’t feel right anymore to wear the ring while he’s in love with someone else and he’d turn that into the moment he tells Michonne how he feels about her…But I bet they do have something that interrupts his chance. Like maybe Judith starts crying or Carl or Daryl walks into the kitchen or something so they sorta have to just let the moment pass again.

While Michonne would have reacted really positively to Rick professing his feelings for her at any point during this time jump, I think the actual timing of how Richonne got together ended up being perfect for them. After all the build-up of their slow burn, I think it’s better that their first officially romantic moment didn’t have to be a whole conversation but rather them just leading with their hearts and being passionately in the moment, rather than Rick perhaps directly telling her he’s fallen for her and maybe nervously adding something like “if that’s too much right now I understand” like the talk they had in 4.11. 

But I think these unseen time jump exchanges where Rick hoped to “find his moment," is also part of why Rick had that look that he had just before he kissed Michonne in 6.10. In that scene, I always feel like he looked at her like I think this might finally be my uninterrupted chance to kiss her and oh wow she looks like she wants me to.

I also feel like some of Rick’s hesitation to make a move before 6.10 was because he really didn’t want to potentially ruin what they have now by moving too fast or escalating in a way that Michonne may not want. So I think he just decided in his mind that if ever she gives the green light then he won’t hold back in letting her know how he feels, but he’ll wait until she’s comfortable enough for that. 

Until then, he’s just loving all their little exchanges throughout the day. And Michonne loves it too. She’s also aware she’s fallen in love with him by this point, but Rick is her best friend’s dad and they have such a good thing going as a family that I think she too is hesitant to make her feelings known and find out if it’s mutual. So like Rick, she's working up to it. Especially with Deanna’s final words to her ringing through her mind often during this time - “What do you want? Now you go figure it out.”

But one morning, Michonne remembers that she still doesn’t have toothpaste of her own so she goes up to Rick’s room to borrow it like she normally does. However, this time he’s all out too. And so is Carl.

All of them being out of toothpaste ends up being a blessing in disguise tho. Because fortunately, this is also the same day Rick very intentionally finds the perfect minty alternative. 😌

And those mints lead to Rick and Michonne finally acting on all the blatant love, desire, and sexual tension that they’d been steaming up the house with the last few weeks. 

And that’s my 'little' detailed play-by-play of what I think life was like for Rick and Michonne during that very impactful Season 6 time jump. 👌🏽😊

Also, I had said in Part One that this Part Two would possibly be less lengthy, but I checked and this one is longer than the first. 😅 They were just too fun to write and imagine. Thanks for reading them! I really do appreciate each person who takes the time to read my thoughts. 🙏🏽💕

[cryinhell]

No one asked, but here's my updated top ten hellaverse ships (both canon and not)

10) Stella x Striker

What can I say? I love an evil couple. I think these two look pretty hot together, and it's interesting how Striker seems to respect Stella despite hating blue bloods. These two aren't canon, but I wouldn't mind if they were

9) RadioRose

Despite having mixed feelings on Alastor, I think these two are just so cute. Either as a couple or just queer platonic partners, I don't care. Rosie seems to be the only person to make Alastor genuinely smile, and she's the only one who can touch him. There's a special bond there I really like

8) Verosika Mayday x Wally Wackford

So this is the biggest crack ship on this list, but I think in theory, it's so cute. I really want Verosika to be happy, and Wally, despite being a bit of a scammer, is really sweet. I'm totally cool with Verosika ending up with Barbie as well, but I slightly prefer Wally. I wonder if they will have more interactions in future episodes.

7) Fizzmodeus

Is this controversial? Probably. I know Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are so loved in this fandom, so putting them at number 7 is awful...but they aren't my favorite. I do like them, and I think they're really cute! I just have ships I like more, but that doesn't take away how sweet these two can be. Sometimes obnoxiously sweet heh. So yeah, no disrespect to these two

6) M&M

So these two were at first kinda meh for me, but over time, I've grown to love them. They have a pretty healthy relationship, and I always hate when someone bothers Millie for marrying Moxxie or saying Moxxie isn't a good enough husband. These two clearly love and respect each other and clearly grow together with every episode.

5) Staticmoth

Like I said, I love an evil couple. Valentino is a monster, and Vox is deplorable. That doesn't stop me from loving them as a couple and thinking they are cute. I think they both should die, but also would be sad cause come on, they're cute together.

4) Cherrisnake

I love Sir Pentious, I love Cherri Bomb, so obviously, them together is a fun pair. I shipped these two before the show came out and was so excited to see Pen having a crush on Cherri. They kinda remind me of the early versions of M&M, but they need a lot more time. Cherri isn't ready to accept love, and Sir Pentious is well...in a different world. I can't wait to see these two develop and become an actual couple.

3) Adamsapple

So this and Lucilith could be here. Lucifer being happy is the main objective, and its Adamsapple is so fun. They clearly have a history, and there's a lot of feelings. If Adam comes back in season 2, I'd love to see this be fleshed out. I doubt they'd be a couple, but maybe friends? Who knows. I'm fine with this one not being canon, and just something fun in the fandom

2) Stolitz

Stoltiz is pretty important to me because it really got me involved in the fandom. I've been watching Helluva Boss since the beginning, but episode one of season two had me from casual watcher to actual fan. Blitzø is one of the characters I really relate to, and Stolas is just a really well written character. I love the development of these two and they are worth waiting for. I really gotta draw some fanart of them because they are everything

1) Huskerdust

Are you surprised? You must be new. These two are my everything and all time otp in the Hellaverse. I've talked so much about why I love them, and I will continue to do so until I can't any longer. Angel and Husk are not only my favorite characters individually, but their growing friendship and eventual relationship are just so ughhhh. I love these losers, and they will always be number one.

Thanks for reading my nonsense

Have a good one 💜💜

[littlehungrywarriorcats]

hi! I was wondering if you have any tips on drawing/visualising rufousing? Stuff like it's effect on non-black cats, where it's the reddest etc.

My current go-to reference is Somali cats but that's not entirely ideal considering their tickedness and amount of reliable sources for the rarer combos

Thankfully google images is full of a diverse array of black tabby pics so it's easy to find references from across the spectrum!

This is a pretty standard level of rufousing, a very normal brown tabby. You can - if you know what you're looking for - see the clear divide between more/less areas of rufousing across the body. It's more obvious when I pixelate him:

His rufousing falls on the belly, nose/muzzle, and chest. On other cats, we see the same pattern:

Belly, neck, chest, muzzle, and this one's paws are a little redder too.

Here's a very low-rufous brown cat who still has a rufoused line up the nose:

Even the grayest black tabbies have this tbh.

Here's a very rufoused brown tabby:

It's harder to see bc of how brown he already is, but we STILL see that intense (seasonally-appropriate) nose redness! Cats are rudolph I guess XD

As for non-black tabbies, they're usually reddish enough already throughout (AKA, can't get gray enough) that, while rufousing does still distribute the same way, it's much less noticeable. Here's a choc tabby w/pretty average rufousing:

Now that you know to look for it, the reddish nose IS still there...but it just looks the same color as the stripes!

Here's a more high-rufoused brown tabby, where it's a little more obvious that the nose strip is rufousing:

We can see it on the paws, too! It MIGHT be on the chest, but even with this fella's high rufousing, that red just looks like the normal agouti redness we see on the flank, so it's hard to tell!

I usually just draw rufousing in choc/cinnamon to be a straight increase/decrease in saturation for this reason tbh. Then again, I tend to do the same thing for my brown tabby designs... I find that rufousing in a way that doesn't look like weird tortie hard to draw :( Oh I can PAINT it, sure, but when it gets stylized into clean lines? Much harder.

Another important thing to keep in mind is that this white-ish spot on the muzzle here...

...is ALSO the result of banding! That's not "true" white, this cat has NO leucism. The red intensifies around the muzzle and then turns more "white" towards the center as a result of normal tabby agouti-ness :3

Here's a chocolate with the same faux-white as a result of being a tabby.

Sometimes it's just on the chin. Here's a cinnamon tabby with...some kind of rufousing! It's harder to tell w/these guys already being so red, but I'd venture to say "lower" bc of the lack of lightness on the belly/face:

When it comes to cinnamons, who are SO light, most of their visible rufousing is either just going to look like stripes or turn fully faux-white. His paws just looks darker instead of redder!

I hope this helps!!!

[dayseternal-blog]

NOOOOOOO OMG 😱😭

There I was, just scrolling peacefully (I almost never check my notifs right away),

oo, NaruHina fanart, so pretty, look at Naruto's bright smile, Hinata's schoolgirl outfit, a high school au :) ... "I have high expectations for my hero"...my hero...hmm that sounds really familiar, like I - scrolls a little more-

from "It's No Secret" ?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????💥💥💥

FAMILIAR LIKE I WROTE THAT??? THERE'S A SECOND IMAGE??? Of THAT SCENE??? The one of Naruto crouching down?????

ALSO, okay, ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO

The Shoujo magical sparkles and flowers blooming blossoming sparkling everywhere okay 😭 you know what, yes, Jolly, you really truly nailed the concept here, that is the EXACT thing happening in my brain. It's No Secret is just a super girly, dorky shoujo manga, and I'm SO EMBARRASSED YET APPRECIATIVE??? that you brought my little baby fish of my first serious attempt at fanfic writing off my brain and into the world as this fully-formed drawing that PERFECTLY encapsulates how flirty and lovey dovey they are when they're not even dating 💀 I'm dead, people aren't supposed to see this.

okay, my initial "NOOOOO" up there is because when you told me that you really wanted to draw a scene, and in no wondering of mine did I EVER think it was from It's No Secret, like THAT's NOT the fic you were supposed to be inspired by???? I thought, if she read most of my fics already, maybe like Little Samurai since you remembered that one, or maybe like Last Chance or Friend of Mine..., BUT IT'S NO SECRET???????? You even read that?????? Such an old fic?????? That's not even that good, like I did NOT write it well and

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Why is your art so HIGH-TIER for my smutty, stupid writing?????????? 😭

It's No Secret is supposed to be for readers who have explored my other fics already, and have gone down the fanfic rabbit hole, so far down, that they somehow end up years in my past, and they're so into fanfics at this point, that they just forgive all my tropey, cringy, cliche plot points and characterizations, and are just caught up in sparkly NaruHina romance, maybe a part of them thinking, like, "oh, Days was also just a newbie at writing back in 2018 haha," and then all the drama of American nonsense like prom gets these readers to just forget how stupid the story actually is 💖

Unsuspecting, unrelated people who haven't read fanfics in general or my fanfics aren't supposed to just be subjected to my shoujo-brain while scrolling on Tumblr 😭😭😭 It's TOO MUCH.

IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME. I can't handle this. I love "It's No Secret" too much, like I must protect it in all its tropey glory, it's just a baby!!!

AND YOU GO AND DRAW MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THE WHOLE STORY.

Well, along with the strawberry date and the car scene, so this scene is definitely in my top three from that fic, and you really shouldn't have 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖 I was not prepared. Not prepared, like I needed a warning sign or something. Dear God, I pray that innocent, unsuspecting people do not click on the link for the fic from this art. Their expectations will be too high because Jolly's art is too good, and they will just be like wtf is this cutesy possessive, jealous Naruto and too good too innocent Hinata who can do no wrong, this fic is too much.

UGH Now I feel the absolute need to reread It's No Secret because it's been ages, AGES since I reread it, I will skip certain scenes that are too embarrassing for me 😅, but I can't believe you.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, THIS FANFIC IS TOO PRECIOUS TO ME, YOUR ART IS TOO PRETTY.

Just the fact that you nailed the concept on the head so well with the flowers, and Naruto's EYE, showing how ooey-gooey in love he is, and the sparkles raining down, and and and you did not leave out the detail of how he's blushing super hard to his ears.

Like. This fanfic really is the prototype for every high school au I've written ever since. I can so clearly remember my descriptions just by looking at your art, even though it's been years since I wrote that scene. UGH. Hinata's hugging her books, like you know what. You know what. That is exactly how every preppy girl including myself held our books at my high school because that was The Look. but also you just nailed Naruto so well, UGHHHHH. I'm dead.

I adore you 😭🥺 Thank you for embracing my baby fish so warmly, I don't deserve this. Like there are so many better NaruHina fanfics out there in the world, and you spent your energy and talent on It's No Secret of ALL THINGS. Thank you 😭😭😭😭 I can never repay you. I could keep gushing and freaking out, but I have to go now 😭

You are the best, the ABSOLUTE BEST. I LOVE YOU. You deserve nothing but good things in your life, may God BLESS YOU for ALWAYS.

A scene from @dayseternal-blog fic "It's No Secret" (<- link)

This was meant to be two pages. I wanted to draw out more of the scene but I unfortunately have no more free time till next year 😭I just really wanted to draw this particular image out and put it out there (the after math 🤭):

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year~

[lucyvaleheart]

hmm. y'all like mentally unstable tgirls right isn't that a thing

someone just so utterly fucked up that they can barely care about themselves, let alone you, so you readily throw yourself at her? ready for her to fuck you up? to break you? to abuse you?

cmere, cutie, let me take advantage you. let me make you feel good so i can obsess over you and then toss you aside. Let me try out all my fucked up fantasies on you, let me test how far I'm willing to let myself go. Let me chain you up, let me use you, uncaring, let me hear your pretty screams so i don't have to think of my own.

isn't that what you wanted? aren't i so wonderful? isn't it just amazing, to be helpless, at the mercy of someone who you just don't know how to predict?

isn't it so fucking nice?

there's nothing behind my eyes. they're dead inside, just like you wanted. older tgirl not afraid to use you up and break you for her own pleasure.

cmon....~

aren't i the girl of your fucking dreams?

[nadiajustbe]

I think a big problem with hmc book content at Tiktok (and also almost every social that is not this hellsite including twitter), is that how movie-centred it still remains. No negativity to movie fans, certainly, it's just the movie and the book are two very different stories, and when I search for hmc book content I want to have well, hmc book content.

Instead of that almost 80% you got are "book versus movie" or "did you know a Howl's Moving Castle is based on a BOOK??" type of videos, mostly targeted specifically on the movie hmc fans to know more "fan facts" about the book, which is, usually, a pretty basic information for anyone who read the said book at least once. Yes, I know that Howl is Welsh. Yes, I know Sophie is a Witch. Yes, I know she has two sisters. Yes, I know Howell Jenkins is a little pathetic idiot.

It's like none of these stuff is actually targeted on an actual book hmc fanbase, and builds everything around it on a movie comparison, instead of, well, making stuff about the book? It would be plausible If movie and the book were similar, like H*rry Potter movies, for example, but they're NOT. The stories are so different they can and should exist as pretty much separate entities.

And all of the wonderful videos targeted on book fans with an actual content for book fans that is NOT "did you know in the book.." kinda gets lost in the sea of the other contentmakers. It's extremely difficult to find a hmc book video that doesn't mentions the hmc movie even once and it's not BAD but it feels like you cannot actually have a content made for you.

I can hardly find memes, or headcanons, or funny videos that are not just repeating the information I already know for like five years.

It's like having a star younger sibling that gets brings up in the every conversation about you and you cannot stop it.

[huckleberrykai]

TYUNNING NOSES

the feelings i have for them and their noses would get me kicked out of most feminist circles/lh

i have not appreciated tyuns nose enough until this very moment and for that i feel foolish. my god.

they have the noses of gods. they're so beautiful :(

i aint arguing with a man with a pretty nose, whatever you say beautiful <3